Thursday, December 27, 2012

i know a lot now about love
not everything.
but i know a lot now about the important loves.
the loves that cross oceans and international date lines
& unite people that seem to be quite opposite.
but really, we are never opposites, are we?
we cry and laugh and learn and eat and shop and climb stairs and wash clothes and say hello
and we love love love.
we have a lot more in common than we have in differences.
i know about the real love that grows in smiles and laughter,
even when verbal communication is impossible.
it's not about your car or your dryer or dairy, or even your past and your broken heart.
your heart matters. your personal state matters--but it is not everything. we are not here only for ourselves. if we were, what point would there be in life at all?
it's about the people.
it's always about the people.
you have the power to love an entire nation-
the entire world-
right in there.

it's hard to feel your broken heart when you're giving it all to others.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

I will [not] miss you.

 Note: This is a hate post, and maybe some of the meanest things I'll ever say on this blog. Don't say I didn't warn you, and if you're looking for something happy, maybe read something of Hannah's. Happy Hannah. Mad Mallory. Are you seeing a theme, here? Also note that all of what I am about to say is very heat of the moment. I'm just feeling fired up and I'll probably cry about this later because I feel bad about it. Because that's what you do when you love people: you hate them.

It seems as though I've made a lot of promises in the past. Extensive, "forever" types of promises. Making such statements of assurance is very unlike me, but I guess I was feeling infinite.

Or maybe I was just hoping to feel infinite.

Either way, I destroyed yet another beautiful thing.
And the word "infinite" is beginning to make me cringe.

You did that to me.
You turned me against my own favorite word.

I'm sad, I suppose. Not because I've lost you.
But because I've lost a piece of me.

The piece of me that I gave to you.

But I suppose it's rightfully yours now. Do with it what you please.
But I'm mostly hoping you forget about it. Or that you lose it with the rest of your dignity.

My biggest concern right now is how much I stopped caring.

I'd still like to punch you, but I'm hoping I never get the chance.
Because that means I'd have to look at you.
And, frankly, I'm not sure if that's something I'd ever like to do again.

You can say every mean thing to every other person.
It doesn't matter anymore.

Because no one is as sad and pathetic

as you.

So why don't you just stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
Might as well, right?

I hope you have a miserable life.

And I really mean that.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

For the sake of sanity and all that is holy.

Is it just me or..

is it just so damn hard to come up with words lately?

Emotions are easy. Those are running in at lightning speed.
And, without warning, I just have them.

But words? They have left the building.

I'm not trying to blog about writers block, really.

I'm just trying to blog about the time I never wrote anything because I was feeling everything and it was just too hard to come up with something.
So I wrote nothing.

But nothing can still be something.
Even if that something is just the word, "nothing."

And lately, nothing is my everything.

And everything is definitely something.

So I'll stand on a cliff and let the wind fly through me.
Like Keira Knightley. Pride and Prejudice style.

Because being Keira Knightley seems like a solid solution to most of my problems.

Sorry that there hasn't been anything to read around here lately. Check out to keep up on Hannah's Chinese adventures!