Tuesday, February 26, 2013


It's all because of my skin and my bones and my heart.


We only hurt because we're human and we're only human because they told us that we are.


How does the present become the past? How does the future become the present that becomes the past?
How do moments turn into memories when they were promised as "forever?"


I was thinking about Winnie the Pooh and Christopher Robin and how they defined my childhood idea of friendship.


"Forever and ever is a very long time, Pooh." "Forever isn't long at all, Christopher, when I'm with you."


Forever wasn't long enough. It wasn't long at all.


There's a tattoo on my heart. And it's small. But somewhere, if you read the fine print, you can make out the word "always."


I didn't pay for it.


It paid for itself.

ok go.

Monday, February 18, 2013

some stuff. cause i don't always have to actually write, do i?

1/photobooth in dylan's candy bar in nyc 2/a nice rothko, why not?
3/just another gorgeous gaudi building. obsessed. 4/ phillip's hands on the last day of class
5/the flatiron building (i have a thing with architecture, k?) 6/jenny on the playground at swan lake

i think there's a good chance i'm already in love with 70% of the redheaded male population. datemeplease.

today i got a pair of maroon pants at old navy for a dollar fifty. seriously.

i'm 90% sure that i want to grow up and being an education curator, working with family programs in a museum. slash work at a non-profit that works with art education with kids.

i'm discovering a real fascination with architecture. can i specialize in architecture & non-western art? sounds good.

allie's dad makes the best chili sauce in the world. just throwin' that out there.

officially registered for floral design this spring. that's my backup plan in life. can we create a plants minor just for me?

i'm going to graduate in december '14. okay, nearly two years, but when i say i'm going to graduate next fall it sounds REALLY good.

my mom's dating a baker. tonsssss of free baked goods. score.

just found out that if i get married, i can go teach english with ilp again for free AND potential spouse can go free too. going back to china with me is now a condition of marriage. i've already planned how we can go have one of those really cheesy asian photoshoots and i'm really excited.

k-pop, guys. is it embarrassing that i honest-to-goodness love this song?

enough embarrassment for now.

see ya.

Thursday, February 14, 2013


today, this painting was my valentine.
somehow february 14th has a way of making my solitude all too evident. even when i don't care at all every other day! i don't feel a lack of love, but i am always alone on campus, so my literal solitude was very real. i walked around all day and ate lunch by myself in the moa cafe and went to the mall and walked around by myself before work (and let me just throw in there that gosh i hate the mall) but i stopped in front of this painting for a good fifteen minutes in the middle of it all.
it brought me to tears. it really did. looking at those faces and imagining what it was like to look down from the heavens on baby Jesus and what kind of reaction i would have. so many are surprised, or curious; many are joyful and are singing out to the heavens on their way back. there are four faces, though, with tears in their eyes, and they are what gets me. the man in the very right cranes his neck back to catch every glimpse he can of his Savior, while the rest around him make their ascent singing. he seems to deeply understand that one day this sweet baby would die for him, for all of us, and he is overcome with love. so am i.
we're never alone.

Thursday, February 7, 2013


tuesday night was the first in years that my entire family was under one roof.
my parents left and they took my little brother to the emergency room
(he gets really bad coughs and can't breathe)
and it was strange to know that they were together with him, but it was good.
and even though our parents aren't together,
they are our parents, together. 
and really, no matter what happens, we'll always be a family unit.
i think that's nice.