The tears in your eyes and the blood in your veins and the holes in your heart.

It's that moment of understanding where you can envision God strategically placing the stars in the sky and the leaves on the oak trees and the freckles in those perfect pools of blue staring right at you.

And you just know.

You just know that this is how it was intended to be.

You know because your mom cries when you talk about him and your dad hugs you and whispers his words of approval and your co-workers are enthralled with the stories that you tell about him and you feel like sunshine when he calls you "baby," and, most of all, you know because God told you that this was the one. Made especially for you. And he will always protect you.

And the only thing that hurts anymore is your face because you can't stop smiling so incredibly huge.

That's when you know.

I was lost for a lot of years. In the most cliche way possible.
I faked who I was so well that even I forgot about my real self.
I fell "in love" a couple times and "in lust" a couple more.
I hurt people and they hurt me and this world is an endless cycle of pain and sorrow when it comes to our hearts.

Or at least it was. Until now.


You picked up my heart and my body and my soul 

and you dusted them off and kissed them better 

and taught the three how to get along with each other

and now I am completely whole. 

You knew me instantly.

The real me.

The one that cries at homeless people and stray dogs and the one that writes people letters and smiles at strangers in the grocery store.

And, tears running down your face, you said,
"It's okay. I'm here now."

And that was the single most important moment of my entire life up to this point.

You're here now.

Thank you for finally arriving.
I dreamed about you for 20 years.