in place

the montreal market.

no matter how much you love some people,

you still might not feel good about yourself when you're around them.

find a few that you feel lovely around,

that you know always love you, and that you always love.

everything will be well.

i feel in place.

like i belong, once again.

a place to belong is sometimes so hard to find.

i suppose it only comes when you stop trying,

and you open your heart to whatever comes to you.

i'm free.

i'm full.

it's a wonder what a week of country club lunches, planking, letters, temple visits, and "i love yous" can do for a soul.

love, hannah

what it's all about.

a few nights ago, we rode our bikes in the dark to go and swing.
we rode, all five of us, in a pack like the order. (yes, i'm getting into harry potter, guys.)
we swung high, and looked at those stars.
we ignored the ugly screeches our play produced.
three of us ran away to the playground, and we talked about everything.
we aren't best friends, but we could be.
and i remember thinking, while i was there,
this is what it's all about.
it's about big hearts.
it's about learning from others.
and it's about the simple act of just existing and being grateful for that.

our lives are a beautiful thing.
and sometimes i know, it's hard to live them fully.
but when those moments come when you feel full,
cherish them with all you have.
try to learn to keep them in your heart, always.

love, hannah.

depth

i would like to send out a thank you to everyone who reads.
you support my words, which i feel are not my strength.
i have recently been given the compliment that me and mal have depth, and that this blog has depth.
i've never loved a compliment more.
this is probably the one thing in the world that i appreciate the most--depth.
even more than beauty. though i think they go hand in hand.
i strive to keep a firm hold on reality, and to live as a real human being, a real me, and nothing superficial.
of course i'm never completely that way; no one is.
the people that i love the most have depth,
and the people that don't are the only thing in the world i don't like to give a chance, though i should.
it's easy to see who has depth, and i am endlessly flattered to be counted among that number.
i love real-life humans who talk about the things that stir their hearts,
who are vulnerable but not afraid of it,
who have joy and not material happiness,
and who are true friends.
depth is a quality i admire.
it leads people to speak honestly,
it leads them to feel things,
it gives them tact,
and it allows them to really be alive instead of just living.

everyone is capable of depth,
though some are too afraid or insecure or ignorant to find it.

but to all of you, thank you for your depth,
for sharing your hearts,
and making humanity more human.
being human is a wonderful thing.
our flaws are a wonderful thing.

you know who you are.
thank you.

change

in the next month,
my mom will get married,
and i will gain 5 sisters.
our favorite man will leave for two years,
to go spend time with lucky spanish speaking tallahassans.
and i'll move to college,
and take a class called "living with plants" for my biology credit.

change is good.
that's what they say.

love, han.

mail circuit continues.

hello everyone! we had a very successful first go-around with the mail circuit.
i just got my cd and am listening to it right now! (thanks rosie!)


so this next one i have up my sleeve involves lists and more senders.
if you want to participate, (even if you participated in the last one), email me again at hannah.mallory1@gmail.com.
please include your address again, even if you've already given it to me.
you are welcome to join if you haven't previously!

thank you dear flies.
love, han.

timshel

i recently finished reading east of eden, which was suggested to me by lindsey in a comment on one of our posts that had to deal with mumford & sons. (what does steinbeck's re-telling of the book of genesis have to do with mumford? go find out. it's worth it.) don't let the large amount of pages ward you off. in fact, the book had become such a daily routine for me that i was surprised when i got to the end. no, wait, i've ALWAYS had a lot of pages left to read! now what? well, now i read extremely loud and incredibly close. a brilliant one as well. i know about that. anyway.
read them both. at first when i got lindsey's recommendation for east of eden i had no clue what it had to do with timshel...
sufficeth to say it has everything to do with timshel. i have now become a fuller and less ignorant human-being, which is just one of the pros to this.
and i kind of sound like an infomercial. okay, so, point? i need recommendations for more books to read. let me have 'em. and while we're at it, here's some books that have altered how i think:

my name is asher lev,
the chosen--chaim potok. (not CHaim. gggHI-um. yeah i'm a professional phonetician.)
the book thief--markus zusak.
the bell jar--sylvia plath.
eat pray love--elizabeth gilbert.
east of eden--john steinbeck.
extremely loud & incredibly close--jonathan safran foer.
someone like you,
the truth about forever,
actually all of them, especially the older ones--sarah dessen. (sarah dessen is the absolute only YA author i can stand. well, of all those in her genre, at least. sometimes cliche, but always truthful. real emotion and real events and the main point about every book is the heroine becoming herself. a love story is a side note. or a vehicle. i check yes to that.)
a mango shaped space--wendy mass.
tuesdays with morrie--mitch albom.
le petit prince--antoine de saint exupery (in french if possible)
no logo--naomi klein (please read this? so i can have someone to talk to about the issues of the advertising industry. haha...)
i seem to be a verb--r. buckminster fuller (so delightfully strange. if you have trouble with social philosophies of the sixties, don't read.)
a raisin in the sun--lorraine hansberry.
shug--jenny han.
thirteen reasons why--jay asher.
my life in france--julia child.
how to be an explorer of the world--keri smith. (try all her stuff. please.)


ah, what a pleasing list.
give me yours, please.

thank you, hannah