Thursday, March 22, 2012

don't go.

i want to keep you.
will you let me put you in my pocket?

i'm used to people leaving, i think.
it's what i expect.
and so when you become important to me,
i will cling and claw to try and keep you, because i am terrified that one day you will wake up and you won't want to keep me anymore.
so i do everything i can to keep you,
which will probably end up being the thing to drive you away.
(am i talking about physical distance? no, i'm talking about heart distance here)
and i'm sorry,
i'm sorry i can't stop worrying deep inside
i'm sorry i don't trust enough to let life happen
i'm sorry i can't always stay so calm
i'm sorry i can be so desperate.

and even though i shouldn't
and even though i would never admit it
i love far too easily,
far too quickly.
my heart is full of it, it's spilling out, and it's splashing on everyone i meet.
i love you in the most basic way,
i love you in the way you love in feelings without knowings
i love you in the way that isn't need; i love you in the hopeful way.
but the bottom line is
i love you.

and i am so very aware that love rarely ever stays
but that won't stop me from wanting it to,
it won't stop me from trying to keep you.
i will keep trying to keep you.
all of you.
all of the yous i've ever had.

and that is my downfall.

don't go.


  1. How could you possibly be posting this right now when all this is at the moment going on in my head as well? I guess it's a good thing to try to hold on as long as you can but I do know that I will have to say goodbye eventually and that's why it seems so unfair to ask him stay... Life can be so very complicated at times, don't you think?


you look really good today!