Monday, March 19, 2012

I have done some things I'm not proud of.

And I'm fully willing to admit it:
I'm not proud of hurting the one I loved the most.
I'm not proud of cheating my way to the top.
I'm not proud of making fun of the girl who just needed a friend.
I'm not proud of letting my anger win and punching him in the face.
I'm not proud of telling her that I hated her when all she ever did was love me.
I'm not proud of my various well-deserved titles, including (but not limited to) "bad influence," "boyfriend steal-er," and "cold heart-ed beyotch."
I'm not proud of leaving him behind just to teach him a lesson that I didn't even know myself.
I'm not proud of saying "yes" when I should have said "no."
I'm not proud of saying "no" when I should have said "yes."
I'm not proud of making excuses and jumping to so many conclusions.
I'm not proud of lying to him. And him. And him. And him, too.
I'm certainly not proud of my constant forgetfulness.
And I'm not proud of my slight history of cheating in card games.

But, all things considered and all doubts and downfalls aside,

I am proud of me.

Because I've done some difficult things.

And I'm proud of you, doubts and downfalls aside.
Because I know how hard life can be. And here you are, still living.

I hope you're proud of you, kid.
You owe it to yourself.


  1. Whenever I read your posts,
    I read the entire thing, all the way through.
    Your writing is inspiring? relatable? brave? cynical? entertaining?
    Whatever it is, it's good. Really, really good.

  2. goodness, just what i needed today.
    its a great day to be proud.

  3. I love you Mal.
    You're becoming one of my favorite people. Did ya know that?

  4. I just found your blog - I love, love, LOVE this post!
    For serious.

  5. yeah, you're right. and this is good.


you look really good today!