familiarity

you know that feeling? the warmth of familiarity?
it feels like the coziness of being in a room full of people you love, when you're all snuggled up on the couch, half-asleep and laughing.
or maybe you're all sitting around a fire, or maybe it's just a big mosquito repellent candle, but the love is tangible.
or maybe it's when you lay on the floor for hours and listen to the music play and listen to the breath of those people around you.
or maybe it's those hugs, the kind that strain your neck in a beautiful way, the kind you don't let go of for a very long time.
it could be laying on the warm asphalt on summer nights in front of your house,
or how natural it can feel to have your arm around someone's waist, and someone's arm around your shoulder.

you know that transition? the point where someone shifts into your "familiar"?
it's a beautiful moment.
and all of a sudden, you understand their smiles, you could recognize their voice anywhere, and you think back to the time you were first alone & their voice sounded so new
and how their face first looked to you
but now, you can't see their face in your mind
because it is so much more than their face. this is the moment when your imagination of them changes from a picture to a soul; a conglomeration of memories. a feeling.
this is called love,
and this is the moment of no going back--they've crossed the heart-distance.

they say that home is where the heart is
and maybe it's a fault of mine, but i tend to put my heart into everywhere i go. it covers the corners of all the rooms i stay in; it seeps into the wrinkles of all the hands i've ever held.
and it's hard to know that everything is so temporary
but i heard from someone, once, to live in each place you go as if you'll be there for 10 years. don't think of it as temporary. think of it as home. gather loved ones, live your life, and do not remove yourself because you know you'll be gone soon.
that was good advice. that is my only regret.

to allow something to become familiar can be terrifying sometimes. to let yourself become attached when you know you or it won't stay. it's risky. it guarantees a hard goodbye.

but to miss is a lucky thing.