It's cold outside.
But I don't dress warm because the feeling of the hairs on my arms standing up straight makes me feel alive.
And I'm grateful.
Grateful to be alive.
December is my month to reflect.
What have I really spent the last 11 months doing?
Was 2011 worth it?
Am I happy with who I am?
What have I learned?
The answers to all of these are endless.
And it's the years with the endless answers that I know were good ones.
Because that means I'm different. And I usually find that "different,"
in a progressive sort of way,
This was the hardest year yet.
And I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out to be my hardest year ever.
Only time will tell.
And as pleased as I'm going to be when it's over in 31 days,
I will be sad, too.
Because this was a learning period for me. A chapter.
The chapter right before things start to look up.
The one where the problems are over and I'm learning to heal.
The one that marks the end of the misery and the beginning of the rest of my life.