Friday, December 30, 2011

Kissing, Part II

Think back. To this past February. I posted this.
Go back, re-read, have a good laugh, yada yada.

I have decided to do some follow up posts regarding this lovely little topic.
Because, well, let's face it.
We all love kissing. Even those of you who haven't tried it yet!
And if you would like to deny that you love it, you're either not human or you're a lying idiot.

Okay. First things first, here.
If you are an inexperienced kisser, or if you are an experienced kisser but are bold enough to say that you still have no idea what in the dickens you're doing,
PRACTICE.Practice makes perfect, people.
I can honestly testify of this.
The worst kiss I've ever had was with the same person who enlightened me with the best kiss I've ever had.
That darling thing was devoted to learning the ways.
So, of course, being the brilliant artist that I am, I taught him.
And now he will go on, hopefully, to make many women weak in the knees and light in the head.
I am so proud.

My next item of business is for you experienced kissers:
Do the world a solid and don't leave any man behind!
This doesn't mean kiss anyone/everyone (I mean you can if you want but.. be safe).
This means that it is your responsibility, as one of the gifted ones, to pass the artistry along!
If you come into contact with a most horrific kisser, it is your duty to make them better.
Plus, you don't want your name left on one steamy, but true, rumor when the other person is not skilled.
Because their next victim will know that you were once there.
And you did absolutely nothing to save this poor soul.
That just gives you a bad name.
So, all in all,
Don't let us down.

And to conclude today's message:

Monica:  What you guys don't understand is, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it.
Joey:  Yeah, right! .....You serious?
Phoebe:  Oh, yeah!
Rachel:  Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.
Monica:  Absolutely.
Chandler:  Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, you know? I mean, it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out.
Ross:  Yeah, and-and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that-that... that's now why we bought the ticket...
Chandler:  The problem is, though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again, you know? I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic... basically trying to stay awake.
Rachel:  Yeah, well, word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home, listening to that album alone.

"The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because the kiss already has within it that surrender."
-Emil Ludwig

You know you love me.

1 comment:

you look really good today!