Wednesday, February 23, 2011


Yes. A topic that is slightly intimidating to all humans between the ages of 12 and 18. And perhaps beyond, depending upon ones maturity level.
Just the word itself seems to make brows sweat, eyes widen, and heart beats stammer along at an awkward rate.

Kissing is so very strange.
It is believed to have originated back in the days of the cavemen. Mothers would chew food and then transfer it from their own mouth to the mouths of their children. And that, my friends, is how the kiss itself began.
Interesting, isn't it?
Something so... strange (others words such as gross or weird also work in place of "strange" here) as the cavemen feeding their children mouth-to-mouth has turned into something that is somewhat of an art.
Wouldn't you agree that kissing is an art to a degree? There are "bad kissers" and "good kissers."
I mean, how odd:

"Put your mouth on someone else's mouth. That is also the same body part that smiles, chews, breathes, speaks, eats, pukes, etc. Yeah. Just put your puker on their puker and suck in slightly until it makes a smacking noise. 'WHAT?!' you may say. I know. It's a little overwhelming. Just trust your instincts and go with it."

Now, let's not deny. We all practiced kissing when we were like 7 years old. I used to be a fan of putting on lipstick and kissing the mirror.
Looking back, it was slightly narcissistic of me to be kissing myself. But, hey. I probably thought I looked good back then.
Anyway, everyone freaks out about kissing. Like you have to marry someone if you kiss them.
In junior high, if anyone kissed, the entire school was sure to hear about it.

Remember when your best friend had her first kiss before you? And all you ever wanted to do was ask questions about it? You didn't really know what sort of questions to ask, but it was all so fascinating and you just wanted her to tell the story over and over. In fact, she would tell it so many times that you would think about her first kiss during the middle of your own first kiss. And then you start feeling really pathetic because kissing was not everything that she had made it up to be two years ago in junior high.

Think back on your very first kiss.

Did the stars align?
Did you feel like you were floating?
Did the spinning of the earth slow down just for that one moment?
Was it so perfect, you could hear wedding bells?

Yeah. Mine wasn't like that either.

Mine went like this:

Me: "I'm not going to kiss you."
Him: "Yes. You are."
(he leans in closer)
Me: "No. I'm really not."
Him: "Oh please. Yes you are."
(he touches my face with his. my heart rate goes one million miles an hour and I don't know how to run away. mostly I don't want to run away, but I'm so scared to kiss him because, well, what if I'm awful?)
Him: "Your heart is beating really loud."
My thoughts: OHHH perfect. I can't do this. What side is my nose supposed to go on? Am I supposed to use my tongue? Gross. I can't put my tongue in his mouth. I hope he doesn't put his tongue in my mouth. Oh my gosh, I'm about to have my first kiss. I'm not ready. He's too experienced and I'm going to be awful and I'm terrified. Why are his eyes closed?! I'm going to die. This is legitimately about to happen.
Me: (strange throat noise that occurs when one has something to say but can't say it)
And then we kissed. Romantic, isn't it?

Anyway. I suppose I should finally get to my main point.
Have you ever been kissed in such a way that you know that the person is kissing you to kiss you.
They aren't kissing you simply to be kissing, or to "cross you off the list."
They are kissing you because they want to be kissing you. Because you mean something to them.

It's a completely different experience than simply just kissing.
It's so much better when the heart is in it with the mouth.
You know?

I recently experienced the most invested (on both ends) kiss of my entire life.
You know someone is invested in kissing you when they do so while you smell like the food industry (aka your workplace) and your hair is in knots and they just learned everything shameful about you.
I don't know why he kissed me.
I honestly don't think I would have kissed me in that situation.
But he did.

And as strange as kissing might be, or as awkward as it can be, or as uncomfortable as it has ever been, there are times when you realize that this strange little phenomenon called kissing is worth it.

The man that makes you weak in the knees
with a single kiss is a keeper.

Just kiss the man. You'll regret it if you don't.

Love, Mallory

Post Script:
I mostly just apologize for the lack of flow and excitement in this post.
Please don't think of the cavemen the next time you kiss someone.

[edit]: Go here for round two.


  1. So, I sort of hate that you wrote this. Not cause I think kissing is weird or awkward or anything, but just cause I still have no guts and haven't kissed him.

    Everything is fine.

    Except for, you know, not.

  2. this is real cute. :) i like you mal

  3. if i could give an award to you,
    i would.

    a gold sticker,
    a blue ribbon.

    this is a phenomenal post.

  4. i love this.
    and i am thinking it has been too long.
    if you know what i mean.

  5. mal i think you are adorable.
    i love your writing. :)
    i love your stories.

    p.s. i hate the smell of zupas.

  6. This is quite possibly one of the cutest posts I've ever had the pleasure to read. I adored it, a lot. :)

  7. the video. I am swooning. I'm having trouble getting up from this computer.

  8. Dear Mallory,
    So...I really liked this post. It made me happy :)
    I see you all the time in the halls, you have a lovely voice and are just awesome.
    Can we be friends? :D


  9. too late: i'm going to think of cavemen now...haha

    question for you though...the kind of kissing when you find out afterward that they were just crossing you off the list - and that was your first kiss do you stop regretting it, and wishing you could take it back. i just can' being sad or mad at how stupid i was.

    love kaylla

  10. I saw on my dashboard that you posted about kissing, and now it's not there. So I stalked your blog in the archives till I found the first edition. Please re-post it, because this is lovely.
    Thank you dear:)

  11. I. Love. This. I've always thought that kissing is so weird! And I tell people that and they just look at me like I'm crazy.

    It's beautiful, but strange. I'm glad I finally found someone who agrees :)


you look really good today!