breathe in, breathe out.

it's always been my favorite mat kearney song.
it's gotten me through a lot.
when i was watching him sing it on the stage on monday night, tears welled up. and i willed myself to cry. they wouldn't escape my eyes.
it was beautiful and infinite and so much joy bubbled inside of me, from my toes to the ends of my hair, my heart was warm and i was sure.
so tuesday, when i learned some more news that changes everything, once again, and my heart sunk and i cried tears that i haven't cried for years,
this song was my refuge and my peace once again.

Breathe in, breathe out,
Tell me all of your doubts,
& Everybody bleeds this way,
Just the same.

Breathe in, breathe out,
Move on and break down,
If everyone goes away i will stay.

We push and pull,
& I fall down sometimes,
I'm not letting go,
You hold the other line.

Cause there is a light in your eyes, in your eyes.

Hold on hold tight,
If I'm out of your sight,
If everything keeps moving on, moving on,
Hold on hold tight,
Make it through another night,
& everyday there comes a song with the dawn,
We push and pull and I fall down sometimes,
I'm not letting go,
You hold the other line.

Cause there is a light, in your eyes, in your eyes.
There is a light, in your eyes, in your eyes.

Breathe in, and breathe out.
Breathe in, and breathe out.
Breathe in, and breathe out.
Breathe in, and breathe out.

Look left look right,
To the moon in the night.
& everything under the stars is in your arms.

Cause there is a light, in your eyes in your eyes.
There is a light, in your eyes, in your eyes.
There is a light, in your eyes, in your eyes.
There is a light, in your eyes, in your eyes. 

i like to imagine that this is my conversation with God. hannah, He says, i know you're scared. you're confused. you're a little bit broken. but i am here. i will fix you. i will do the work, and all you need to do is move on, one second at a time, and breathe in, breathe out. and trust me.
and so i do. i trust Him.
they say that things fall apart so that better things can fall together,
but to be honest,
all we've really seen is things falling apart. but i still trust that someday, maybe if it's in the next life, better things will fall together.
i know that i'm stronger than i think and i know my family is, too. and i know we can do it.
and i know that we're loved, that we're protected, that there are reasons, and that there will be peace.

things go wrong, but i still have countless blessings.

not everyone will love you right. there will be things that you never thought would leave you that will. unfair things will happen and you might not know the reason.
but i promise, with all of my little 18 year old conviction and heart,
that God will never leave you. that you are blessed. and that you will be okay.


everything under the stars is in your arms.