Today was perhaps like any other day. Nothing exceptionally exciting really occured. And nothing really dreadful came about.
Today was normal.
You know, it's the normal days that you always forget.
I think we all know that we are aware of our (quote unquote) normal days.
But we never step back and acknowledge ourselves participating in them.
If I were to go back to one year ago and look at every single normal day from a distance, would I remember them?
All of them?
Any of them?
Would I find anything significant?
Would I recall those days at all?
Would I even remember that the person living them is, in fact, me?
It's these "normal days" that baffle me.
I mean, yes, they are normal. Very normal.
But what is normal?
Who decided on "normal?"
And why is it a standard?
I mean, we constantly hear the phrases "She's not normal." or "That isn't normal." or "They are perfectly normal."
But what IS it? What does it mean and why does it mean that?
Why do we live by it?
But, more importantly, why do we forget it?
It's like being abnormal is the only thing we can do to be remembered.
The only way for us to note a date or remember anything specific is for something abnormal to have occured.
I do not understand normal. Nor do I understand abnormal.
But there is one thing I do understand. And that is that we couldn't have abnormal, or exceptional, or horrible, or memorable days if we never endured through the normal ones.
I never claimed to be anyone normal.
Or anyone who even understands normal.
I stumbled across this William James quote as I was reading through an old journal of mine:
"To study the abnormal is the best way of understanding the normal."
This statement seems to read true, considering my past experience.
And although he says it is the "best way of understanding the normal," I almost want to say it is the only way.
Normality is perhaps the one thing that makes us what we are, or, better yet, what we aren't.
Being normal is one thing. Being normal is normal (if that makes any sense at all)...
But feeling normal... That's abnormal.
That's something to remember.
It's the fine line between being and feeling that seems to take everyone off guard. Being is who we are seen as, and feeling is who we see ourselves as. Not one of us really feels normal. Because not one of us really is. But most of us, in fact, can be normal. Because that's who people think we are. Whether we feel that way or not.
Didn't think so.
See, normal is complicated.
And now I've confused myself, as I've contradicted thoughts.
But don't worry.
I suppose, like anything else, contradiction and confusion is okay.
In fact, it's normal.