train of thoughts on flirting.

sometimes this blog gives me stress because i know that so many people i know read it.

how i wish to be blatantly honest about the thoughts that consume my mind.

but in a world where virtually all your friends, parents, and distant relatives/family friends have access to your thoughts (thanks mom (she sent an email to all her friends with the link)) things are not so simple.

i could tell you lovely things about a boy i know.

but i won't.

i could tell you not so lovely things about a boy i used to know.

can't.

i could tell you how i feel about high schoolers and their flirting tactics.

oh, but i still probably will.

i could tell you about art and antiques.

but no one really cares.

i guess i'll just have to tell you about flirting tactics.

here's my most recent favorite seventh grade throwback:

boy 1 grabs girl 1's cell phone. runs. boy 2 and girl 2 get involved. all four run around in circles squealing and tickling and saying various phrases such as "give it to me!" "don't you dare read that text!" and "i hate you!". girls energy diminishes and boy 1 runs away triumphantly with phone, only to discover that the text was from girl 1's mom and there is nothing about him on the device. all four exhaustedly giggle while gasping for breath.

everyone feels good about life because that adventure certainly means they have a winner for a potential dating partner.

yes, teenagers amuse me. i don't include myself in this category, because i never have and never will be good at the flirting game.

never. sometimes i wish i was.

i don't say things for the sake of saying them. when i'm in social situations, the only time i contribute is when i feel it's worthwhile. so, sometimes it's awkward when i'm the only one not engaging in flirty banter.

other times i have chats with ari and we decide it's perfectly better to be calm and classy and not make a fool of ourselves.

especially because i'm only interested in boys who are calm and classy themselves, anyway.

you know, the kind that write me notes on postcards and sing me songs and tell me they like my shoes.

and also probably listen to frank sinatra and like to sit on benches and take pictures with film cameras and know all the classical/jazz/showtune radio stations.

mmm... and maybe look up videos of deep sea fish on the internet and wear nice sweaters and touch my nose when i'm cute.

too bad i don't know a boy like this.

okay, i do know a boy like this. too bad he is practically my younger brother and acts like a five year old on a minutely basis.

issues.

anyway. i'm not saying flirting is bad. i still respect you if the cell phone trick is in your repertoire. all i'm saying is that it's not my style and i don't fully understand it.

i don't know if i belong in high school. but i do know that i love it. and that it provides endless hours of entertainment.

but to those of you who are teenagers: the old tricks are just that. old. please amuse me with a new flirting tactic. i may just blog about it.

-han.