Monday, January 30, 2012

She was not my favorite person...

But we always said "hello."

I have this still image of her at that party, very intoxicated, laughing hysterically at everything, and I was so bitter. Annoying drunk people are my least favorite. 
"Let's go," I told her when things were winding down and it was time to leave. She ignored me. "LET'S GO," I told her again.
She sighed and said, "Fine. Help me down the stairs." Being the designated driver obviously has its perks.

After that, we didn't see much of each other. We exchanged greetings when we would pass each other on campus or at the dining hall.

I saw her two days ago. She was standing in a group of girls as I walked by, but I opted out of saying "hello" because I figured it would be rude of me to interrupt the conversation she was having.

But now, more than anything, I wish I would have stopped to say "hello." And hug her, even. And kiss her cheek. And apologize for getting annoyed at her when she was drunk. And tell her that I wished we could have been better friends than we were.
Because she was in the final countdown.

You know...
Death is so hard to understand.
I'm apathetic toward death. I don't know what to make of it.
Because, depending on your version of religion, death can sometimes be happy,
even though it's always sad.

Life happens so fast.

She has sat on the bed that I sleep on every night.
She still has a belt of mine I once let her borrow.
She curled her hair in my bathroom before we hit the town a few times.
And that's the extent of our memories.
That's all we'll ever have.

Life is delicate. Life is the most fragile thing we'll ever have.
Be careful with it.
But don't be afraid of it.

For my sake,
and for the sake of the people that love you,
take care of yourself.


  1. I haven't cried yet because of how shocked I was, but reading this really made me realize how huge of an impact the smallest person can make on you when their time is up.


you look really good today!