Thursday, August 4, 2011

my love life

so, i really really like this boy named *ernest*. we met in a fabric store. i was checking out the cat fabric because... well my grandma likes to make cat quilts. *that's my backup story* and he popped out behind me and said hi. we hit it off. he had the swoosh. i was sold. i thought i'd fill you guys in about him. it's been hard to keep it a secret. anyway, last night, he took me on my dream date. we went 80s roller skating. and held hands. *oh my goooooooshhhhh* it was magical. he complimented my awesome lime green spandex shorts. i mean who does that these days? he's a real gentleman. anyway here's the first problem: i just can't get him to kiss me. i mean i totally thought we were going to during *party in the usa* because it's like the most romantic song EVER. moving my hips like yeah...
but i digress.
you know how you know when a boy is going to kiss you? you just know 'cause his eyes look like chocolate and he looks at your lips a lot. it just felt so right. but... he didn't kiss me. i need to get him to kiss me or i might go crazy, his lips are the fountain of love and i'm thirsty.
my friend jess told me it's easier just to force them to kiss you, but i don't know if that's my swag. my friend nat told me to just kiss the crap out of him but i can't do that. what if he gets mad and never sees me again? what do i do? think about that question and answer it in your head while i move on to my next set of problems.
namely: *montey*. he's a bad boy. that's his street name. his best friend is carlo. anyway i saw him riding his harley and man, i just melted. that leather jacket is a smooth as buttah. he would kiss me anytime i wanted but the only thing that's stopping me is ernest. but sometimes i just get so close because his lips look like rosebuds...
look, i know he's a player and i'm just using him for his jacket and his rosebud lips but hey, i can't be good ALL the time. sometimes i just want to do it!
i want to get lost in a man's hands. not like that. but you know.
and here's the last problem.
he's perfect.
james.
he takes me to bookstores and art museums and neverland. he doesn't talk too much which is more than i can ask for. that is rare, my friends. plus his hair is kind of red. plus he likes to watch chick flicks.
here's the problem: we're stuck in the friend zone. how do i change this? it's must be the hardest of all my problems... he's the dream!



ahhhh...
i think i might just ditch them all and go for the beibs.





beibs forever.


-han

6 comments:

  1. hahahha.

    hahahha.

    haha.


    i'm so happy.

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  2. Ahh... to be young and single again. ;)

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  3. hannah.

    we need to talk about this asap.

    oh wait, we already did.

    hahahaha.

    i vote james.

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  4. hello! i am a new reader. i totally understand the friend zone problem. however, from the facts that you have presented, i think he is the best option of the three. here is my new goal with da boiz: just be HONEST! say something. anything. a lil' hint that you have your eye on him. boys don't pick up signals well because they are weird so sometimes you just gotta tell 'em. and most of them like that honesty. WOOO! bye.

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  5. his lips are the fountain of love and i'm thirsty.

    i love that SO much!

    hannah you're brilliant.
    good luck with you're predicament
    (I'm in the same one, but jake and jackson don't like any of them, gahh)

    best wishes,
    cami

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  6. HAHAHA. i quite enjoy this.


    biebs F&A obvs.

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you look really good today!