back in the groove.

remember last fall?
i was so happy.
and then i lost it.
not that i was unhappy,
but we go through those cycles, you know? very happy, peaceful, calm, nostalgic, sad, happy again.
well i'm coming back to joy.
and it didn't happen when i graduated. it didn't happen when i said goodbye. it didn't happen right when i said hello. it didn't happen in france and it didn't happen at home.
it happened in a tunnel.
twice in a tunnel.
the first time, sunday night, i was surrounded by hundreds of students. we sang hymns by the flashlight and everyone's voice sounded beautiful. even mine. we prayed for those who lost their lives for our country that fateful day ten years ago. tears collected in the corners of eyes. god be with you 'til we meet again, i sang in the direction of two blocks away.
and tonight.
literally right after i published that last post about realizing that my purpose is to love, i got a call to meet with the bishop about a calling. and guess what i am? family home evening mom. i found it so ironic because i'm not an activity person. single's ward fhe has never sounded especially appealing to me. but it's already made me better. i am responsible for unconditionally loving eleven of my peers. i feel it already.
we went to the tunnel and we played soccer. and even though i missed the ball every time i laughed more than i have in a while and i was honored to be in the center of the family photo.
i remembered why i was so happy last fall. it was because my focus was serving others.
that's what i'm returning to.

so i guess it doesn't matter where you are.
it matters where your heart is.

my heart feels a lot more at home.