There comes a time in a young person's life where they realize that time is against them.
You will never have enough time.
And no matter how hard you fight for a red light, it will turn green and you'll be on your way, wondering how the hell you managed to leave everything behind and why you can't turn around to go back and get it.
Because life is a one way street and your car is stuck on cruise control and you will never ever ever be able to manage your own speed.
You'll just keep going.
Sometimes you can sit in this constantly moving car with the windows down and music blasting, laughing all the while because you're enjoying yourself. Sometimes life is enjoyable.
Sometimes you cry, and as the rain hits the windshield, you find yourself driving away from a best friend or a lover.
Sometimes you're angry, and you can't stop looking in the rear-view mirror, hoping that looking long enough will bring its contents to the windshield. But no matter how long you stare into that rear-view mirror, the past is not going to come back. You can think about it or wish for it as much as you want, but it isn't going to happen.
You can't go back. You have to move on.
And sometimes you give up.
You take your hands off the steering wheel, fully prepared to get into a fatal accident.
And just as this moment of bravery is about to take its toll, you realize how stupid you are, and you quickly grab hold of the wheel again and swerve back onto the road.
Because there's always a brighter day.
Eventually.
Life won't allow us to go back.
But it will make sure that it's hard to move on.
And you just keep driving.
too too true.
ReplyDeletethanks mal.
i love you. always. thanks for being your honest and heart-felt self. i miss your bald head.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I know we've never met in the real world, but I've been stalking your blog for a small while. I just wanted to pop in and tell you that this post was beautifully written and it literally would've brought me to tears had I not been sitting in a public library when I read it.
ReplyDelete