a sunday smile, two.

on thursday night, i remembered that i had not yet put my sunday smile plan into action.
so i went to wal-mart and bought a lovely pad of blue sticky notes.
the next day i proceeded to (hopefully) brighten people's day.
i stuck one on the full length mirror in the girl's bathroom. the stinky bathroom kind of by the financial office.
i sneakily put it on the mirror, hoping that no one would notice.
then i had to check myself out, because, well, that's what you do when you see a mirror and you're just standing there.
and then those little thoughts came into my head, like, do i look okay? 
or more specifically to me, outfitted in a tea length skirt inspired by the forties,
do i look like a polygamist?
and then i read the note. and remembered.
i look really good today.
and i smiled.
and went on my way.

so, week one of a sunday smile?

accomplished.

i choose to have faith in the few of you that have read this post and the last one, and therefore i am going to issue a new challenge for the upcoming week.
you know when you're walking down the hall at school and you pass someone that you know the name of, but you can't decide whether or not to say hi because you don't think they know you?
or you're at the grocery store, and you see a neighbor or teacher or acquaintance and you avoid them by either a. quickly turning into the nearest aisle or b. pretending to be intently studying the cans of tomato sauce?
or awkwardly sitting in a deserted room with that one person you don't know very well?
well, this week, when these potentially awkward situations befall us, i challenge us to say hello to that person in the hall. i will bet that it's highly likely they know who we are, too.
i challenge us to wave to the acquaintance.
i challenge us to make small talk with the person we don't know very well.
this is a practice that i struggle with, but the times i have followed through have taught me that there's really nothing to lose.
it will either make things less awkward, or equally as awkward as they were in silence.
wish me luck with my hello-giving week.

p.s. if you've followed through with a challenge, please comment and tell me how it went!

by: hannah

i found waldo.

on a bright and sunny day in san francisco, a brown-haired girl named hannah entered the san francisco museum of modern art.
she stared at the massive calder mobile.
she ogled the two jackson pollocks.
she fell in love with the colored pencil drawings made by school boys in africa.
she resisted the temptation to sit in one of the amazing chairs on the pedestal which she christened, 'pedestal of the unsittable but artistic wooden chairs'.
she got slightly bored by all the black and white photos.
she exited an elevator and found herself in a dreamland of calder's works.
she walked through an airy room with huge colored canvases.
and when she was done, she turned to walk down a ramp and return to the ground floor.
she looked to her right, out of the window. she turned away. something in her brain pricked. she looked again, a huge smile on her face, in disbelief.
she had found waldo.
he stands behind electrical boxes on the roof of a building next to the sfmoma.
it was a secret treasure of a moment.
how often does something so delightful and unexpected happen?
hannah should win an award for number one finder of waldo.


by: hannah.

The Runaway

Tonight, I took my sweet time driving home from work.
I got a job, did you know? It's a lovely little job. And I enjoy everything about it. Except for the constant standing, but what do you do about that?
I had things to think about, and I do a lot of thinking while driving home from work. So I figured I would take the long way home and let my thoughts run free for just a moment longer than usual.

Tonight, something extra-ordinary happened.

As I was driving, I came to a sudden halt at a cross walk where a bike was riding past. As the bicycle came into clear view in the midst of my headlights, I realized the glory of the situation.
It was not just any bicycle, but a tandem bicycle. 
Now, this may not seem very cool, seeing as tandem bikes aren't that rare to come by.
But on this lovely, red, two-man-cycle, was a most beautiful couple.
The man must have loved the woman, because the woman was in the front seat. How often is it that the man obligingly allows the woman to steer? Hardly ever, I'd say. 
Would you like to know the best part?
The woman was in a dress.
Not just any dress.
A white one. With poofs and frills and lace that graced the ground as they rode.
And the man was in a suit.
Not just any suit.
But the suit he wears when he states how he wants to live the rest of his life.
The most important black suit he will ever wear.

And off they rode. Down the street. And to their destination of what I imagined to be Happily Ever After.

I was surprised to see that there were no people following them, no cheering behind them, no cars to their side. There were no people blowing bubbles or throwing confetti at them. They were completely alone.
It was just them and their tandem bicycle. Riding down the street. On the happiest day of their lives. With no one but each other.

I turned left at the intersection, and drove up the hill to find myself passing a wedding reception. Where there were people flooding in and out. There was dancing and food and gifts. But not a bride or groom in sight.
It didn't seem to be a big deal to any of the guests, but I had a gut feeling that no one there knew where the happy couple had gone.
Just me.
I knew where they were.
They had ran away.
Not because they didn't want to be there.
But because they clearly had better places to be.
They had a life to start.

I can't wait to find the man who makes me happier than anyone.
The man who sweeps me off of my feet and tells me that it's okay to feel something.

I already know what sort of man I'm going to marry.
He'll be handsome, of course. And have nice clothing.
He'll propose to me in the most clever of ways.

And he'll be the sort of man that plans a runaway.

He'll keep a tandem bicycle in the back of the celebration, and he'll wink twice.
That will be the code.
And I'll know that it's time for us to sneak off and begin our lives together without telling a soul.
We'll begin our lives together on a tandem bike.

And he'll allow that we begin our lives togehter with me steering.


By: Mallory

a sunday smile.

when i was fourteen, i was a stake ycl for girls camp. i was only a small ninth grader, and all of the other girls were juniors or seniors.
i felt insignificant.
our stake camp director’s name was rosemary. she is, to this day, one of my role models. although I never got real close with her and i haven’t seen her since, she left an impression on me.
the theme for camp was “because nice matters”.
as the girl’s camp council, we met every week or so for several months. rosemary wanted to make sure that each of us got the real meaning of the camp theme. so each time we saw her, she would give us small challenges to complete during the week. these challenges were supposed to result in making someone else feel good.
we were supposed to smile and say hi to people we didn’t know in the hallway. we were supposed to help a stranger with a task. we were supposed to give compliments.
the next time we met, everyone would share good experiences they had resulting from the challenges.
i, unfortunately, failed at this. still an insecure junior high kid, i never went out of my way to complete the challenges. i regret that.
so, two and a half years later, i’m going to fulfill what i was asked to do. it’s been long overdue.
a sunday smile: my new project. (p.s. bonus points if you get the reference.) each sunday i will make a goal to complete in the next week that will make somebody smile.
i will post these goals here, on the lovely blog, so you, too, can join in!
i promise you won’t regret it if you try… but you will if you don’t! ha…
anyway. the challenge for this week?
operation beautiful.
the gist of it is, write encouraging notes on sticky notes, and put them up in public bathrooms, women's locker rooms, etc.
i think it's important to remind the female population how beautiful they really are. (especially on the up-coming first day of school... when everyone will be worrying about how they look!)
i'll be putting some notes up when school starts this week. i certainly hope it will make someone smile. i encourage you to do the same!

by: hannah

on the virtues of lipstick.

i like to wear lipstick. it's kind of my thing.
i don't remember the first day i decided to wear lipstick to school, nor do i remember why i decided to keep doing it, but i thank my lucky stars for whatever came over me.
because lipstick, you see, has many benefits:
1. you will stand out.
2. people will listen to you when you talk.
3. boys will beg you to kiss them.
4. (you can refuse.)
5. you may look pretentious, but you will be stylishly pretentious, nonetheless.
6. you will:
a. scare those who are younger than you.
b. be envied by those younger than you.
c. scare adults.
d. be envied by adults.
e. be told, "you are so vintage" by young womens leaders, or,
f. be laughed at by adults, in front of or behind your back. (i've just realized that being in front of a back and behind it is essentially the same thing.)
as you can see, it is a win/win situation.
i suggest revlon.
although the 97 cent NYC brand at walmart is a good buy. i tend to buy one every time i go.
is fifteen different colors too many?
i think it's just perfect.. except it can present some tricky situations when deciding which shade to spring upon the sophmores on the first day of school.
smooch or in vogue?


By: Hannah

Hush.

Have you ever experienced a perfect silence?

You know, that indescribable silence?

Where you don't have to say anything to be in perfect harmony with another person.
All you simply have to do is just be.
And there is nothing but peace between two hearts as they peacefully communicate with no words.

It can only be experienced between certain hearts. But everyone can experience it. Just not with everyone else.
No one can feel it with everyone.
It takes something special; something different.
It takes vulnerability.

I have a theory that you can only feel Perfect Silence around the people who make you feel the most comfortable with yourself. You know? Like you don't need to be anybody but you. Because you are enough.

It's a nice feeling. Being enough, I mean.

It's nice to know you are needed. And no one even had to tell you. You just sit there, silently, and know that you mean something to someone else.

I honestly can't think of something I enjoy more than the perfect silence.



By: Mallory

actually, it's miss chanandler bong...

fact: friends is my favorite show.
i watch at least two episodes every night. there are four episodes a day on kjazz. i record them all. hence, my collection of episodes keeps growing.
you know that episode where chandler & joey challenge monica & rachel to a game to see who knows each other best? and ross acts all stupid as usual and is the gameshow host? it's arguably my favorite episode.
two of my friends & i decided to play our own little version of this game. we had to answer questions about each other like, 'who are their two favorite actors'? (which was impossible.) and 'what kind of flower would they be?' (parker was a tulip? heavens.) and 'what would they name their first two boy and girl children?' (morgan's were difficult. i knocked parker's p.j. and jitasha out of the park.)
but guess what. i won.
and i'm proud. that's all.
too bad we didn't bet our apartments for it.
p.s. if you were a friend, which would you be?
i would be pheobe. although my abilities to live on the street and mug ross are debatable, i think i could succeed at writing songs like smelly cat.

By: Hannah

Good Grief.

I seem to lose sight of everything that is real.

I forget reality for days at a time.

Is this bad?
Do not respond to that, for the answer is quite obvious.

I have this lingering feeling that one of these days it will all come crashing down. And the wrath of reality will swiftly bop me on the head and politely inform me that my days are numbered, and my opportunities are limited.
And I'll be excruciatingly shattered. And as I mourn my losses (and despairingly ponder upon mental promises I had previously made to myself and broken) I will sulk in my regrets and stumble into a state of misery. Where I will sit forever, wishing I would have lived in reality.

I don't mean to not live in reality.
Honest!

It's just that, well, sometimes I simply forget to live in reality...
This is entirely an accident.

But sometimes, when I finally come to the realization that I'm not in reality,
I simply forget to go back...
This is entirely on purpose.

I guess all of the misery I may suffer later from this is self-inflicted.
And I'll simply have to get over it.



By: Mallory

i've only watched this a million times.

and i suggest you do so also.

Lost Things from mini-mag on Vimeo.

a dent.

"he's smart, athletic, he's got everything. a well rounded kid. except he's got a dent in his social life."

dear anonymous,
i have a confession.
i find your flaws positively endearing.
i don't like you for the reasons other people do. you're nice, and funny, and not too bad lookin. but i don't really care.
i like you because you're an idiot.
it's not an insult.
i wouldn't be your friend if you weren't scrawny.
i also wouldn't be your friend if you weren't able to cheer me up with your stupid jokes.
it's a love/hate relationship.
that's why it works.
i trust you to always say stupid things. i trust that you'll take my jokes. i trust that you'll try to come up with good combacks, and i trust that you'll always fail.
i'm not laughing with you.
i'm laughing at you. except if it's about people's awkward kisses. then we're laughing together. until you start giggling. that ruins it. every time.
but that's love.
i'm not being sarcastic at all right now.
totally, completely honest. you might as well be reading my diary.
some people may wonder why we are friends. it's a simple equation.
hate+a tiny bit of like+realistic sarcasm+secret love+i would die if you died+i'd probably be the one to kill you=our relationship.
love, hannah.
p.s. the quote above isn't about you. sorry.

Sometimes, great things happen to me.

Today, I was driving home from the grocery store, peacefully observing pedestrians and such, when I saw him. He was standing on the corner of the stoplight, legs on either side of his phenomenal red 1950's bicycle.
The windows of my mini-van (Yes. I drive a mini-van. And yes, I love it.) were rolled down, and it just so happened that Cyndi Laupers ever-so-classic hit, "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun," was blasting itself to every ear within 1 mile of where I was. I eased up to the red light, turned my head to the right, and through my yellow sunglasses, observed him, there on the corner, observing me.
With his aviator sunglasses, and his tan fadora, and those two-toned suspenders, I loved him so much.
After a few seconds, he gave me the most attractive half-smile I have ever seen.
Real men don't smile. They half-smile. Because the half-smile has a 97% success rate when it comes to getting women to fall in love with them.
Then, he began to do a jig in a mocking manner to the song presenting itself to him.
And we both laughed, for there was much humor in the situation.
He removed his sunglasses just as the light turned green.
Then he looked at me, with his piercing eyes, and gave me a wink, and I gave him a closed-mouth smile, and that was our way of saying goodbye, I suppose.
I never said a word to him, nor him to me.
And even though I will most likely never see this man again, it was a lovely 30 second encounter.


I hope I marry a man with a fadora and a 1950's bicycle.




By: Mallory

and by the way.

Carla Bruni - "L'Amoureuse" from Downtown Music on Vimeo.

i love carla bruni.

if suddenly you have an influx of time and dollars... and want to have an influx of pounds...

you could live like i did this week.

1. eat out at zupas.

2. eat out at rubio's.

3. eat breakfast that your young women's leader made you for mutual.

4. eat out at pizza pie cafe.

5. eat out at china isle.

6. eat out at pho noodle house.

7. eat steak that your dad made.

8. die obese.

i tried to draw everything i ate this week in my writing book, aka 'journal' to civilians, until i realized how unhealthy i was being. so i stopped. and it looks like this:

i will soon die of a heart attack. don't worry about me.

By: Hannah

Into the Void.

I find that I spend a significant amount of time throwing words out into a great, empty space.
I call this empty space "Nothing."
Sometimes I feel as though Nothing listens better than anything, so I tell Nothing just about everything.
I speak so much more smoothly and my words fit together so much more nicely when I talk to Nothing. When I talk to anyone else, I often find myself wordless, flustered, and afraid. Afraid of the truth, that is.
But when I talk to Nothing, words come easily. And the truth is simple.

Someday, I will meet a man who will replace Nothing.

And I will call him Everything.



By: Mallory

special.

don't try to be original, just try to be good. -- paul rand.

when we are honest - that's my saying - if we are honest then we will reveal ourselves. but we do not have to make an effort to be individualistic, different from others. -- paul cezanne.

our individuality is all, all that we have. there are those who barter it for security, those who repress it for what they believe is the betterment of the whole society, but blessed in the twinkle of the morning star is the one who nurtures it and rides it in, in grace and love and wit, from peculiar station to peculiar station along life's bittersweet route. --tom robbins.

always be a first rate version of yourself and not a second rate version of someone else. --judy garland.


it's something that's taken me much too long to realize.
and even longer to embrace.
being

different,

special,

unique,

or

individualistic

doesn't take effort.

trying to be different defeats the purpose.
trying to be different makes you somebody else.
i don't have to try to be special.
i just am.

By: Hannah

Dear Life,

I find it difficult to believe that anyone is sincere anymore.

Including myself.

What is sincere, anyway?

It's nothing but a characteristic that is no longer possessed by mankind.

I wish it were.

Because then there would be no second-guessing. No doubts.

And all I seem to do these days is second guess and doubt.

Sincerely, Mallory





By: Mallory

i have a secret crush.

on brad from the next food network star.
dear brad, 
i'm sorry you got eliminated.
i thought for sure you'd go to new york. but alas, all is well. i predict that you will return to the land of food television. too many people love you for it not to happen.
if adam gertler is on tv, i would not worry about you.
he's kinda creepy. 
you're just adorable.
come cook dinner for me anytime.
but only if you're wearing the hat.
love, hannah.