my big green book & new little blue one.

so i have this journal. writing book as i like to call it. i've kept one since miss westover, my tenth grade honors english teacher, started us writing them. the big green one, which these pages are from, was my third. i filled up the last three pages on new year's eve. and i started a new little blue writing book today. perfect timing, if i do say so myself. 

i feel that i am the most honest in my writing book. because all i am writing to is a void. there are no imaginary blog readers or friends or family or random schoolmates reading my thoughts. and so i'd like to share with you my parting wishes to my big green book.

the last day of 2010. wow. i remember new year's 2000--at home in california with the krauses.

i'm wearing red polka dot tights. jelly shoes. and a bright blue dress from DI. waiting to go to shelbie's party. i hope it's a blast!

it's crazy how fast a year goes by. this school year is already halfway over...

and then everything changes.

college. moving out. mom will probably get married... i'll no longer have my beautiful room. the boys will leave on their missions. girls i know will start getting married. 

this is scary.

this book has seen all the healing. the next book will see all the progress.

i think next year will be rewarding, though.

i feel sentimental about ending this book. it's my 3rd one already! i'm so happy mrs. westover had us start them in tenth grade. if not, i'd probably never write and forget all the important things i've experienced on this journey through high school.

it's been a crazy one. lots of unexpected. but i've learned to adjust, and i think i'll do well with whatever the future brings me. i won't be afraid to lose anything. i've already lost a lot and i've survived without it.

mostly i just have things to gain. friendships. knowledge. experience. confidence. dare i say it, love.

i don't know why i feel the need to say goodbye. 

goodbye, to this chapter in my book.

goodbye to pain and distrust.

goodbye to fear.

goodbye to the safety zone.

hello, happiness. hello, love. hello, adventure.

hello, 2011.

love, hannah alexandra.